On a warm Friday morning, the Astons touring party gathered at the Chequers/Fat Frog, welcomed by two new traditions - a round of 'captain's shandies' (not a euphemism), and a round of George's bacon baps (possibly a euphemism).
The first fine of tour went to Don Blanc, after turning up not only injured (fat knee), but also heavily hungover.

An initial touring party of 14, with tour renegade Mikey Chandler to join us later, set off for the South West around 10am with Bush at the wheel. But before we had even left the village border, the talismanic Trevor Dew was bloodied by a cricket ball, as a box of balls fell from the over-head storage as Bush 'raced' round the bend.
With the new 'no drinking on the bus' policy mostly being adhered to, we arrived at our mid-journey interval at Cheddar Gorge, where we enjoyed a pub lunch and some darts, before descending on the local crazy golf course, for the first of many sporting activities over the weekend.
Despite the party possessing several golfing guns (apparently Colin has a handicap of just six!), it was Captain Ralph who smashed the field, carding two after two to win with an impressive 50 over 18 holes.
With the journey taking longer than planned, we arrived at our accommodation less than an hour before our evening game was due to start. The players quickly dropped there luggage in their chalets, and returned to the bus, apart from messrs White and Cummine, with the former leading the latter tour virgin astray as they pottered off hand in hand for a twenty minute romantic odyssey.

When they eventually turned up, we shot off to Lydeard St Lawrence for our evening fixture. Astons batted first, and after the early loss of Benny Ray, Andrew Cummine finally lived up to his billing as he struck some classy boundaries over the leg side boundary off some quick younger bowlers.

Cummine and Allen were particularly destructive with the bat, as they took advantage of probably the shortest straight boundaries that we've ever played on, to up the run rate. Dew, Kilcoyne and Wigg Snr all ably supported Allen, as the Astons closed on 153 off their 20 overs, with Allen retiring on 51.

In reply, the hosts got off to a slow start, as Ralph and DK bowled some tidy spells, with DK picking up two early wickets. Then a 75 run partnership stabilised the innings, before two quick wickets, one for Steve Smith and the other a first ball wicket for the Rob 'the jockey' Eaglestone, slowed their progress.
Eagle then sportingly made a game of it by going for 21 runs off the remaining 5 balls, as the game hung in the balance.
But ultimately some superb death bowling from Trevor and Benny Ray sealed victory, as the Astons won by 17 runs.
After an exciting game, we shared some beers, burgers and a game of stumps with the friendly opposition, before setting off for a few beers at the St Audries holiday park. The highlight of the evening was the Bush's unveiling of player masks, some of which were strange, some of which were spot on (see photo).

Saturday morning saw the players soak up everything St Audries had to offer, including the cliff edge views across the Severn, a plethora of games (petanque, snooker, darts, air hockey) and even a retro games arcade, which Eagle and Trevor made the most of.
After a enjoyable morning, we set off on a journey for the ages. Looking for a pub to have lunch at before our game at Brompton Ralph CC, we did the classic of driving past a half dozen lovely looking country pubs, only to park up in a municipal car park in the middle of a town ten miles past our opposition's ground.
With the player's grumbling about navigator Bush's decision making, they were soon made to eat their words, alongside their vegetarian chillies, as the Bear in Wiveliscombe proved to be a very hospitable venue, so much so we would be back the next day!
As ever, we turned up late at Brompton Ralph's ground, met by Mikey and late addition Robbo, and quickly took to the pitch to get things underway.
Bowling first on an immaculate wicket, Ben Ray removed their main batsman, as he cut hard to point and Robbo took a sharp catch. DK then removed the very impressive young opener as he pulled loosely to square leg.

The hosts were soon four down for not a lot, as DK and Benny both took two wickets each. They never really recovered from their start, and after a brief recovery, the slow bowling of Mikey and Steve Smith wrapped up the innings for 78.
With plenty of overs to chase in, Astons changed their batting order, giving Eagle and Bush (nice pub that) a chance to open up. Eagle looked good, Bush didn't, as they put on 19 for the first wicket, before Bush was comedically stumped, ending up rolling around on his shell, as his notional son Don Blanc gleefully raised the finger at square leg.
After Eagle fell to a rash slog, George Smith joined his father Steve at the wicket for possibly the first time, as Smith Snr enjoyed a rare outing in the top order.
Both struck a couple of boundaries before falling, leaving it to Sammy and Colin to finish off the innings for a comfortable win.
Post-match entertainment included cornhole cricket with the oppoostion youngsters, some very hot pickled onions, some aerobee throwing, and an entertaining edition of boat race (trays and straws), which Cummine and Robbo excelled in.
With the game finishing early, we were back at St Audries Bay by half-nine, which gave us penty of time to watch George bust some shapes on the dancefloor, and to invent a game involving spherical plastic balls that was a crowd favourite by the end of the night.
Come Sunday, the morning saw more petanque and snooker, before we set off on another odyssey. With Bush seemingly directing us to Lands End, we somehow found our way back to Wiveliscombe (aka Wivey), and back to the hallowed Bear Inn. Unfortunately, a combination of arriving late and some slow service meant that we were nearly half an hour late for the game, but the opposition were not bothered. There was a reason for that, because their gun 1st XI batsmen were looking forward to feasting on some tired Astons bowling. Bellamy in particular looked particularly impressive, effortlessly on-driving for six on some big boundaries as he raced to fifty before mercifully retiring.
Despite a long weekend, Astons stuck to their guns, and regularly picked up wickets despite some big hitting, with Colin, Benny and Robbo all bowling well against some set batsmen. They eventually closed on 236 off their 40 overs, which was a respectable effort by the lads considering the class of some of the batting.

After a lovely tea at the local funeral home (the Bush looked right at home!), Cummine and Ralph were sent out to bat, fearing a torrid time against the Wiveliscombe bowlers. Surpringly they weren't of the same standard as the batsmen, and the openers were able to help themselves to some loose bowling. The pair put on a rapid 77 for the first wicket, which was all the more impressive as Bush missed the opening bowler bowl from two yards past the crease, and they had to bat to the sound of a large mammal being murdered in the hills overlooking the ground.
After Cummine holed out to mid-off, the enigmatic Chandler came to the crease, and he effortlessly dismissed several boundaries to keep above the rate.
After waltzing to 24 off 19 balls, he promptly walked past a straight one so that he could return to the cornhole, which he was becoming annoyingly good at.
A mentally shot Eagle swiftly played one of the worst two ball innings I've seen in a long time as he didn't trouble the scorers, before Ralph retired on 50 with the game still very much in reach.
Some tidy bowling from the home side's spinners slowed the rate, as Robbo and Don Blanc perished after making starts. The tail then wagged, as Sammy, Colin and Benny all struck some lusty blows, but we ultimately fell short by a respectable 25 runs.
After the game we returned to the Bear for a final few shandies, before setting off home. The journey flew by thanks to the quizzing efforts of Eagle, who hosted a top 10 quiz which kept everyone entertained.

All in all an excellent tour, but what did we learn?

1. Jeremy is an excellent navigator....apart from refusing to use satnav, not knowing his left from his right, and not being able to see over the dashboard.
2. Mike Wigg should have been a rally driver
3. Don Blanc is a scruffy man
4. Mikey is annoyingly good at throwing things at stuff
5. Sammy can't speak French

Thanks to Mike and Bush as ever for selflessly driving the minibus, to DK for organising excellent fixtures and accomodation, and to Eagle for the quizzes.

UP THE BOAR!!!!