Today’s final match report of the season will be different to normal as it will contain a brief match report (less said the better), followed by the Will Scarlet first annual awards ceremony, which I’ve decided to call the Willys...

The Match

It was a big occasion for the Cowboys on Saturday as they faced off against Abersychan RFC knowing that a win would be enough to secure the division 7 title in their first season ever in the WRU leagues. The big occasion resulted in a very sloppy display as the nerves clearly got to the lads. Cathays did create some good opportunities early on but the final pass just wouldn’t come off and the frustration did start to build. However the Cowboys were able to get over the whitewash twice in the first half, with a try from Nick “Potter” Fish who chose not to use the overlap created, backed himself Aki style, threw a dummy and got over the line for try number one. This was followed soon after by Aki “the messiah” Davies who barged over from short range to score. The usually prolific Davies was unable to convert the two tries on a very windy day at Heath Park. End of the first half the score was 10-0.

The second half saw the Cowboys tighten up further and the first 20 minutes was all Abersychan, Cathays did kick a penalty but Abersychan deservedly scored a try from their impressive 10 who barged over and converted his own try and the score was 13 -7; and the Whitchurch boys who’d come to watch were sniffing an upset which would hand them the title. It finally took someone to back themselves which got Cathays back on the front foot, and it was that man Aki “CJ” Davies who took a quick tap penalty on his own line, made a break and the ball was eventually recycled and Sam “the Jew” Hughes-Gage who scored out wide and it was suddenly 20-7. This settled the lads down and Rhys “the comeback kid” Jones, who was playing his first game because of injury in 7 months, showed up well in support and after some decent interplay broke through a tackle and went 40 yards to score under the posts. It was also great to see Chris "the boy in the striped pyjamas" Caldwell back in the shirt and showing off his phenomenal handling ability. The final try was scored by CJ, as he scythed through the defence to score under the posts and taking the final score 34-7. And that was all she wrote, the lads had done it, cue wild celebrations that lasted late into the night for many. Campeones!!!!!!!

Well done lads, everybody who has played, coached, supported, organised for the Cathays Cowboys - sincerely thank you, give yourselves a pat on the back. Now the hard work starts for next season. Regulatorrrsssssss! Mount up.

THE WILLYS

It’s the first annual Willys, views are my own and do not represent the views of the club or it’s members...

SCREAM OF THE YEAR (sponsored by St Johns ambulance)

Nominees – Joe Powell (Rhyader away), Paul Culliford (Old Tylerians home), Trigg (Rhyader away)

The winner is... Joe Powell. Now whilst he didn’t scream quite as loud as Cully, he did have to an ambulance to Hereford for what turned out to be a twisted ankle. The funniest bits about all this was his dad’s face as he realised he couldn’t come on the bus and get pissed with the boys, and the look on the ambulance drivers face when she saw young Powells girth and the fact that she had to carry him to the ambulance.

UNNECCSARY DIVE OF THE YEAR (sponsored by peppermint nightclub)

Nominees - Dan White (Old Tylerians away), Alex Bowder (Old Tylerians home)

The winner is ... Alex Bowder. From original match report - Alex “the ball is on fire” Bowder who not only managed to catch the ball but he finished his try with a ridiculous dive five metres from the line, where he launched himself like an F50 jet (with his nose cutting through the air like a fin) to cross the line.

BEST USE OF PUNCTUATION AND GRAMMAR (sponsored by the Crwys)

Nominees – Will Scarlet (every match report), Alan Powell (Facebook)

The winner is... Alan Powell for his drunken rant on facebook. Here it is - "glad sum people don't now what they spout all bull shit an no game time until theyfuck up self themselves wheresr commitment smallman mentality sorry fry don't like im better than u syndrome an cant bk it up"

WORST EXCUSE FOR MISSING A GAME (sponsored by tampons)

Nominees- James Field (Newbridge United away), Rob Sherrington (Abersychan home), Gareth Lloydy (the entire season), Rhodri Jenkins (Abersychan home)

The winner is... Rob “shitpants” Sherrington, although he was run close by James “soilmouth” Field who missed a game for a 7 year olds birthday party. This was the tweet Rob sent out Saturday at 12 – “Great morning canvassing in Penylan, now for a watch of women in black at the new theatre with @MariaPalmizi” ... Oh dear

BEST TRY OF THE SEASON (sponsored by techniflow)

Nominees – Hywel Day (Newbridge united, away), Gareth Gee (Old Tylerians home), Rhodri Jenkins (Aberbeeg home), Hywel Day (Newbridge Utd home), Rhodri Morris (Seaview away)

The winner is... Rhodri Jenkins. Now this was very close and Maddogs tries against Newbridge were beautiful team tries and finishes. However Jenkins’ try came against Aberbeeg when we were up against it and was a great piece of individual brilliance. Written at the time – “a dazzling run from Rhodri Snowdonia Jenkins who went through on halfway and beat man would be defenders to put Cathays 35-22 up.”

SPEECH OF THE SEASON (sponsored by halls soothers)

Nominees – Adrian Davies (Newbridge Utd away), Simon Fry (someone at home), Simon Fry (Whitchurch Away)

The winner is... Simon Fry for some game at home. This is purely for comedy value as Ade’s speech in Newbridge was rabble rouser. Simon Fry during a pregame speech uttered the immortal words in an effort to get us to focus on the task at hand - “right then boys we’re not going to take these cunts very seriously”. Inspirational stuff from Mr Glass.

MOMENT OF THE SEASON (sponsored by mastercard)

Nominees – righting the ship against Aberbeeg at home, the bus trip back from Rhyader, scoring 102 tries in the league this season, receiving the trophy for the league on Saturday

The winner is... Receiving the trophy for the league on Saturday. In what has been a rollercoaster finish to the season, as we looked like we had it in hand, then we wobbled badly and looked like we’d blown it, then managed three bonus point wins to finish the season and win the league. The journey made the end even sweeter, and it was great to celebrate it with all your mates in the sunshine on Saturday.

COMEDY BALLS UP/MOMENT OF THE SEASON (sponsored by Kiwis)
Nominees – Dan White (Seaview away), Dan White (West Mon home), Alex Bowder (Abersychan away, Adrian Davies and ref (Seaview away)

The winner is... Dan White in a landslide with the now infamous deadball incident at Seaview away. From the match report – “The piéce de résistance, given a pass from CJ he just had to put the ball down. Result – mistakes the deadball line for the try line, and runs over it and puts the ball down. Cue much hilarity from opposition and fellow teammates. Try butchered. Cock.”

MAN OF STEEL (sponsored by Gee communication). An award given out for being hard like, bruv.

The Nominees are - Gareth Gee (for having the worlds hardest head – see Whitchurch), Richard Jones (dogging out a calf pull at Aberbeeg), Rhodri Lucas (for trying to play through a badly sprained ankle), everyone for carrying knocks and playing through, Rhys Jones (for coming back from a bad injury within the season), Rhodri Morris (for being part of the worst headclash i've ever seen and getting straight up)

The winner is... Gareth Gee. Having seen the man get kneed flush in the face, and taken and given out hits that we all thought had killed him; we are no longer surprised when he just bounces back up and looks for the next violent collision he can get involved in. The man is quite frankly an inspiration week in, week out.

PLAYER OF THE YEAR (sponsored by the Greek orthodox church)
Nominees – Aki Davies (for being the long haired idol the opposition always flick their bean over), Gareth Gee (for being the nicest hard cunt you’ll ever meet), Rhodri Lucas (for unflinching commitment and leadership up front), Hywel Day (for scoring a shit load of tries), Tom Massie (for being an ever present and doing the unseen stuff very well all year), Jeremy Phillips (for pulling the strings at 10)

The winner is... Aki Davies. The man will always back himself and show up no matter what the situation, dire or good. Thus coining the term “what would Aki do?” He kicks like a mule and is great at counterattacking from fullback. I will leave with his beast award from earlier in the year – “He’s 5’ 10, 13 stone ish, is of questionable ethnic origin, models his hair on Heather from Eastenders, he smokes 20 a day, he’s an awesome addition to your pub quiz team, he breaks tackles like his Mrs. breaks bra straps, the only thing bigger than his ego is his boot. His name is ... Aki Davies. And HE IS A BEEEEAAASSSSTT!!”

Will Scarlet

“Don't run away from a challenge. Instead run toward it cause the only way to escape fear is to trample it beneath your feet” - Nadia Comaneci