Having endured a barren, illness/injury ridden tournament in 2013, the King Prawns returned to Salcombe this year with renewed enthusiasm looking to record a third tournament victory in four years. With a squad including 7 current KCS OB 1st XV players, backed up with a number of players who boast plenty of National League experience, we had good reason to be optimistic as we made the journey down to Devon. An intense, parentally enforced training session on the beach on Saturday flushed Friday night’s toxins out of the system and enhanced the team spirit, despite the persistent objections of CMOTY Sam Rhodes. Even the indiscretions of a couple of squad members (I’ll leave you to decide who), didn’t cause a rift in the camp.

The tournament got off to a good start with the Prawns recording a 35-0 victory against reasonably accomplished opposition, James Williams coming off the bench for his KPs debut selflessly choosing not to run in a try of his own by getting caught, before audaciously offloading for a try.

The second group game of four was identified as a crucial match once it became clear that it would be the last time that we played opposition who weren’t drunk and/or fat until the knockout stages. Another good team performance followed as confidence grew with Chris Attoe finishing of a great team try.

Up next was a game against an aggressive Ivybridge, a side who had spent their morning singing ‘Ivy boys, we are ere, sh*g your women and drink your beer’, while drinking their own beer and making no effort to integrate with any women. Finally we came up against the infamous ‘Wizards’, a team consisting entirely of bald fat men from Wolverhampton whose passion in sevens is setting up the seven-man maul. A combination of this surprisingly effective maul and the Prawns’ humility resulted in the Wizards blemishing our line for the first time before we reached the final.

Having not exactly been challenged en route, it was important that we avoided complacency going into the showpiece of the South Hams’ premier event. The final pitched us against 2010 winners and a familiar foe, the ‘Stumblers’, who have an ex Irish international as well as a number of talented Henley Hawks. Having soaked up a lot of early pressure on our line, Luke ‘the slab’ Minors scored a fantastic break away try with a kick and chase, which was crucially converted. The Stumblers pulled one back to make the score 7-5 at half time and would have taken the lead early in the second half were it not for some more outstanding defence, from Adam Davidson in particular. We responded excellently to score three more tries and ran out 26-12 winners.

In previous years the presentation of the trophy has been greeted with boos and expletives from the local crowd, so we were naturally shocked when we were actually applauded as we collected our prize. We appear to have won over the natives; a notion further evidenced by our impending sponsorship deal with local restaurant the ‘Winking Prawn’. Watch this space…

A very enjoyable social followed the rugby, as Sam Rhodes formed a little and large partnership to great effect with his co social sec, Blackheath’s 6 foot 6 second row Gethin Davies, the pair delivering an hilarious court session. 1st XV player of the year Gareth Stoppani faced a humbling fine for his arrogance after scoring just 4 of the 10 tries that he promised, club chef Chris Attoe was predictably punished for being so domesticated and Will Slater was reprimanded for being a pervert. Oh well, it wasn’t as bad as what Minors and Gareth did…

Will Slater – King Prawns captain and co-founder (yes, that is on my CV)