A player not a million miles from Coombe Bissett last Sunday once asked me, in one of Southampton’s seedier nightspots, how I thought Merlin would get on playing on Saturdays in the extensive Hampshire league pyramid.

“How do you reckon we would we get on in County 3?” he said.

“It’s difficult to say,” I said, my moustache drenched in Sambuca, “On a good day we bat like County 2, bowl like County 4 but field like County 6.”

It was as true as ever last Sunday as a terrific recovery with the bat was backed up by a hit and miss performance with the ball and an absolute shocker in the field with dropped catches, misfields and Mr Extras hurrying Coombe to a 4 wicket win in the 37th over.

Selection headaches in the week were of the “good” kind with players aplenty making themselves available for what is always one of the teas of the year. Last minute all kinds of people came out the woodwork. Finally 13 available would have been 15 if Messrs Emm and Kelly had responded to the WhatsApp poll, and even without club captain Barlow it was a strong team and a confident feeling dressing room who received news of a toss won under blue skies and a chance to bat first on a Shutt’s Lane belter. Not quite everyone was on time thanks to some tree pollarding on the A354, but then everyone knows to leave a little extra time when coming through Salisbury on a sunny Sunday …

It didn’t take long for reality to bite. A sumptuous cover drive from Harry was followed by a poor run out of Jake. Both to blame in my book, but then I’ve been run out twice already this year so who am I to judge. Then a half volley from an off-colour Rouse was smacked into the covers to one of the few fielders who could have caught it. 14-2. Then, most un-Bristow-like, Steve played all round a floater from Newman to be bowled and Josh brilliantly caught in the slips. 11 overs gone 35-4.

Guest player Jon Shergold, literally thousands of games for Wilton in his veins joined another Wilton regular Andy Green for one of the best Merlin partnerships of the last few years. Both going at better than a run a ball for 15 overs, Green sailed through fifty and both players looked particular strong down the ground with 4s and 6s aplenty. One straight six from Green barely got above head high, but then that’s what you get when you pay literally thousands of pounds for a bat. When the partnership had reached 108 Shergold fell lbw just two short of deserved fifty on debut but Merlin were now in the box seat.

Oh the luxury of one of 2023’s star men Jamie “just neck” Basi coming in at number 7. Only batting that low because he was late (see pollarding). Unfortunately his old habit of being bowled by a straight one re-surfaced, bringing in a stiff looking Adams J apparently ageing with every run, who after a solitary boundary got run out backing up. Not to worry, Lee “that’s gone miles” Seal in at 9 and he loves a bit of slap down the order and so it proved with some lusty hits, but it couldn’t last. First Green was out on exactly 100, his first for Merlin but his second in two weeks! Well batted sir!

Seal then stumped for 16, but not before he’d managed to run out number 10 Danny C. And so from the sunlit uplands of 140-4 with 14 overs left we had fallen in a heap for 202. Still, much better than it had looked at 2pm and you know what, the wicket wasn’t as fast as normal, the outfield neither, so the sage heads in the Merlin camp thought that thanks to Green and Shergold we really ought to have enough.

Tea was, well … wonderful. I know I’ve said it before, but you cannot beat an egg sarnie, and the fruit cake … and the sponge … and the scones. And we all know how I feel about homemade quiche. Dear Lord the only thing that could have improved that tea is if I hadn’t had to go out and field straight after. The CBCC scorebook from 1983 had been temptingly left out and I couldn’t help but notice a one P.Adams opening the batting and failing to trouble the scorers and one J.James coming in and making 50 not out to save Merlin’s blushes. One H.Rossell looked the star man with the ball with 4 wickets. Still, an 8 wicket defeat up on the hilltop, would the same thing happen again … ?

As referred to in that nightclub years ago, Merlin never really got a grip in the second half and the fielding was largely to blame. Connor bowled at a decent lick from the valley end and Lee looked lively too from the lane end off his short run. 16 off the first 5 was good and Selvan was kept quiet, but Hewlett looked determined to hit boundaries from the off. When he smashed one high into the covers you sensed the game was there to be grabbed, and to be fair either Basi or Adams could have grabbed it, but in the end Basi grounded the chance. From that point on every time it looked as if we were beginning to apply pressure a boundary came or just as often a misfield for four, or a bowler would chuck in a wide or byes. Shergold picked up a wicket in his first, Selvan trapped LBW, but then a decent partnership came with the very correct youngster Barrett never really hitting the accelerator. Hewlett continued to hit out, including right into Lee’s mitts at midwicket, but the frighteningly difficult chance went down with just a majorly bruised hand for his efforts.

Some Merlin magic was needed. Oldest looking 51 year old in Wiltshire J.Adams had a go, and was accurate enough but not very threatening, spinners Basi and Bristow looked effective, and in the end got their men, one from a solid catch by Shergold, but there was still the odd four-ball and so the run rate required never really climbed. There was then a flurry of wickets and Merlin sensed the door was ajar at 162-6. But then Coombe’s 7 and 8 bats played sensibly to get them to the brink of victory with a decent partnership of 40. The coup d’grace delivered by young Danny who in keeping with Merlin’s whole display sent down 4 wides with his first ball and Merlin walked off, this time knowing they hadn’t really deserved the win. A bit disappointing but in a way it was fair enough, if you chuck in 36 extras and don’t bat your overs you aren’t going to win many.

Just for the stats minded among you, that’s no win here since 2020. Work on your fielding men, and then we might stand a chance up here on one of the finest outlooks of any ground in the south.

We will have better days, and soon. We go again.