Match report by Jack Pellew, 3rd Team Captain

A fine first half performance from a strong 3rd XV paved the way for an obliteration of Winlaton Vulcans Saxons. The day started with a photoshoot to display our new kit for the season, presented to us by Michael Burke (father of hooker Jeff Burke) of Alpha Recovery Ltd. Our thanks go to Michael for generous sponsorship, and it was great to see him on Saturday, along with one of his recovery trucks.

Winning the toss and opting to play up the hill first, Novos started well as Cam Carmichael caught from the kickoff, a feat he would repeat throughout the match. The ball was moved through the forwards, and an early camp in the Winlaton 22 led to Josh McFarland crossing the whitewash under the posts. The simple conversion was added by Jonny Winterhalder.

It was quite the eventful afternoon for young Billy Porter, who opened his account for the season scoring a fine solo try. The conversation was once again added by Winterhalder.

Following the unexpected sprint, a hamstring tweak to Porter saw him temporarily depart and brought Ben “300 caps” Merrett into play, the versatile veteran who has tried to retire more times than Boris Johnson has (allegedly) fathered illegitimate children. Porter soon returned to the field after a breather, and Alex Littlefair took a break, with Porter resuming at 9 and Merrett moving to 8.

Strong carries from Brendan Thomas and Jeff Burke saw Novos keep possession and work up the field. A series of penalties were kicked up the field by Jack Pellew, gaining good territory and a strong attacking platform for the forwards to attack. Good lineout work from Thomas and Carmichael led to a try from Littlefair, once again converted by Winterhalder.

After kicking the first three restarts to Carmichael, a change of tactics led the ball into the hands of Iain “Angry Birds” Dodds. In a fashion not dissimilar to the T-1000 sprint from Terminator 2: Judgement Day (1991), Dodds ran 60 meters up the pitch, crashing through would-be-tacklers and even throwing in some footwork to score a fantastic individual try under the posts. Winterhalder did the needful, and Novos had a 28-0 lead.

Building phases and playing around the corner was working well, and Porter used his experience to see a opening and snipe through to cross for his second try of the game. After claiming that he “didn’t like taking conversions under the posts because it’s too easy”, Winterhalder relinquished the kicking duties to allow his Captain Jack Pellew the chance to register some points. Pellew drop-kicked the conversion, and it was Novos 35-0 Winlaton.

Not particularly enjoying the thumping they were receiving, Winlaton started to turn dirty. A couple of high shots were fairly penalised, and when Novos won a penalty on Winlaton’s 5m line, a Winlaton player took exception to Billy Porter attempting to get the ball for a quick tap. An eye gouge on the floor wasn’t spotted by the referee, but the resulting headbutt was, and the referee Mark Hall very rightly issued a red card to the offending player. A yellow card was also issued for a player running in and escalating the who incident. There is no place in the game for such thuggery, and credit to the referee for stamping this out. We only hope the Northumberland County Disciplinary Committee penalise with the appropriate sanction for an unprovoked headbutt.

The final play of the half resulted in a 6th try for the boys in Red, Black and White. In true third team fashion, we are unclear as to who the try scorer was. Team Manager Andy Croft thought Josh McFarland bagged his second, but he is sure he only scored one. It may have been Alex Littlefair scoring his second, but no-one had been able to clarify. Regardless, Pellew missed the conversion under the posts (dodgy ground) and Novos went into their Orange Slices with a 40-0 half time lead.

Half time changes saw front rowers Alex Milton and Iain Kane replace John Watson and Jeff Burke respectively, while Ben Silk joined the pack and Paddy Smith and Ben Charmer moved into the backline.

The second half didn’t start as well as Novos would have liked. Having kept Winlaton out for the entire first 40, a silly penalty conceded by Fraser Green (for jumping the gun and chasing ahead of the kicker) gave Winlaton an opportunity to kick to the corner. Clearly more up for it than they were before half time, they won their line-out and managed to smuggle the ball over the line. The conversation was added, and Winlaton had 7 points on the board.

This was to be the only Winlaton score of the game. A further two tries were added by David Bowman and Paddy Smith, the two youngsters showcasing their pace and agility to cross the try-line. Novos Rules meant they were automatic 7 pointers.

The Winlaton pack were heavier than the average training pitch in mid-December, but they tired quickly and the game started to turn scrappy. Some big tackles from Brendan Thomas and Gus Nye raised the temperature higher than changing room 2 after the showers have been on for 25 minutes, and the Winlaton 4 lost his temper when he was absolutely (legally) clattered by Iain Dodds. Amidst screams and threats from his opposite man, Dodds just smiled like Hannibal Lecter and licked his lips. Much like most of Cam Carmichael’s dating success – no further action occurred.

Shortly after this, Jeff Burke was the unlucky recipient of a yellow card for his part in being caught retaliating. It was the age old tale of “but he hit me first, Sir!”, but the more streetwise opposition player just beat Burkey to it by getting his retaliation in first. A slow walk off the pitch in front of his dad was duly noted for the fines meeting.

Sensing the increase in niggle, the referee decided to cut the game slightly short, meaning the full time score at Sutherland Park was 54-7. A huge home win for the mighty Novos 3’s, and leaving them with excellent momentum to take forward to the No. 3 County Cup Quarter Final tie against Medicals Serpents next weekend.

Man of the Match – a solid performance from a young lad who is new to the club this season, and will be eager to prove his ability in a competitive position to move his way up the teams. He carried well, tackled hard, jumped and caught well in the line-out and scored at least one (maybe two) tries. A well earned award for Josh McFarland.

Richard of the Day – a clear winner today. He was late for the photoshoot when his Dad had turned up with his Recovery truck, and when he did eventually come out he had more tape on his head than Chris Brown does at training on a Tuesday night. Furthermore, he took the long slow walk off the pitch in front of his father late in the game when he was yellow carded. Unlucky Jeff Burke, but two great chops to clearly win the Chop Off after speeches and show the rest of the club that the mighty 3’s are the best drinking team in the club.

It was also good to see Team Manager and Guinness Consumer Andy Croft back on the side-line. The tie is another year older, still yet to be washed, and we are eager in anticipation to see how many more stains he can get on it before it spontaneously combusts.

Thanks to the referee Mark Hall. New to refereeing this season after several seasons captaining North Shields 1st XV, it was nice to be on the opposite side of the whistle to Mark. I thought he handled the game well and explained his decisions clearly. I particularly thought he handled the Foul Play incident with professionalism and common sense, so well done Mark. I look forward to seeing you again this season and watching you continue to improve.

Next week – Medicals Serpents (away) in the County Cup QF. A huge game and a chance to get another cup run on the go. Squad to be announced shortly, so please make yourselves available as we need everyone we can get for the game.

Photo: Novocastrians RFC 3rd XV and Michael Burke of Alpha Recovery Ltd. Credit: B. Kelly.