Like many things in later life, the match reporter’s pencil is so worn down these days that it only gets brought out for special occasions. But Sunday 1st March most definitely proved to be one of those occasions. In fact, at the end of the match it felt like a birthday, Christmas and Valentines night all rolled into one, and one had to go out and buy a pack of crayons.

To understand the full story you have to go further back than 11:30 on a bright Sussex Sunday, where a sad Kiwi – one who is consistently late for most things - was to be found wandering around the outfield area laying out cones to calm his nerves 2.5 hours before the match. You had to ignore the fact that sniffles-Breach hadn’t slept for a couple of nights, and go back, way back to the serendipity that found us re-playing our tour match of January, but this time with no cross-dressing, shackles, or buxom wenches involved.

The spirited tour match had ended in a rare defeat for the Borough girls; perhaps in part due to the partying the night before, the high spirits and distraction of the attending adults, or the cunning insistence of the coaches in dissembling our game to protect our game plan for the recently announced Cup fixture. Either way, both teams put in a great shift, had a lot of fun at a great Dings venue, and weighed each other up cautiously. Very cautiously.

Further competition preceded the fixture in the form of mother nature, who inflicted the ugly sisters storm Ciara and Dennis on us. At one point it looked like the fixture might be decided by the toss of a coin, at which point Sir Rich offered his lucky loaded coin for the purpose, but this was dismissed in favour of prayer from Sister Sally.

The RFU had a role to play too, nabbing three top players away from Borough for an England TDG camp, but this appeared to affect both teams equally, so one had to assume the depth of squad of both clubs would still make this a fine contest.

And so, by the power of prayer from Sister Sally and the virgin Rachel, it came to pass that the sun shone on a slightly damp and fresh Freelands, where the cones were being arranged………… quietly.

Dings arrived promptly and professionally. A pre-emptive team talk on the bus seemingly setting the tone for day, before much choreographed movements between the clubhouse, changing rooms and pitch, all with good body language. And colour-coded cones.

Borough were arriving in dribs and drabs. Nervous tension and a clear game-focus was surely being masked by a façade of relaxed yabbering.

The warm-ups were a shifty affair. A glance down the pitch towards Dings seemed to show that they had made a massive cock-up, having brought what looked like 20 big, athletic looking forwards from u20s. Did they not know it was u18s, and using small backs was a common courtesy?!

The Kiwi was puffing his cheeks. Were the Borough girls up for such a physical challenge on the back of little training of late, and a disrupted county programme? It came down to the manager, cool as ice, level-headed and good looking, to remind big Kels that for 6 seasons Pulborough had looked under-nourished versus the opposition, but had overcome. That’s what we do.

A mighty crowd had turned out. With the sun on their backs and the bar open it felt like a good day out. Who was to know that when the referee finally asked for ‘kick off’, he was unconsciously setting off a very spirited afternoon, and he would be working hard for his post-match pint.

Pulborough got their wish and kicked off up the 3% hill of pitch one, into 30 knots of south-westerly winds. Exactly as planned, they then spent the next 12 minutes soaking up pressure in their own 22, testing their individual resolve, practising their tackling technique and draining the stamina of the country-folk, before finally releasing the pressure by offering the Dings winger a route to the try line, where they walked away with 5 points.

The Borough players looked a little flustered to be sure. The power of the Ding-a-lings, their line speed and dominant tackles meant that the rare possession of the G.I.B. didn’t readily convert into territory. Breaking the gain line looked like a coaching plan rather than a reality, and all the Borough girls could do was soak it up.

Going forward Dings looked well coached and committed. If the Pulborough team hadn’t had much tackle practice of late due to the weather, then they were certainly going to make it up on the day.

Hooker Brash took a ‘body-on-the-line’ approach, putting herself in every sort of courageous situation in order to slow down the assault, and did so for the whole match. Getting them to ground gave the opportunity for one-half of the Menorca sensation, Safi, to create turnover. Pip, Ellie Mae, Elisha and others competed for ‘best at the breakdown’, but Safi was on fire and was keeping the game honest.

Full back Ratcliffe, who has had a few yellow cards on the dance floor before, now earned her first yellow card on the pitch for interfering with a rogue Crusader off the ball. For once sarcasm and a cheeky smile didn’t wash, and the long walk of shame was had.

Three minutes later and, despite a courageous defence, the momentum of Dings machined through the centre, exploiting the space vacated by Ratters to set up a try for 7 points.

Now being 12 points down and less one player, Pulborough started to earn their way back into the game. The breakdown had been an area of focus in training for the last few weeks, and this was proving to be invaluable in securing our ball through the phases. Loose ball was snapped up, clear outs had an extra 20%, ‘hands-on’ was creating pens in our favour.

The scrum was strong and the last 10 minutes of the first half were spent largely in the Dings 22, and you felt a try would be deserved in the circumstance. But the Crusaders pressing and aggressive defence was as well schooled as their off pitch choreography, and the Borough girls could not find a way through despite the best efforts of Hamer to hit them hard on the right lines, and Captain Robbo to go round them, through them, under them and over them.

Finally it was half-time. While the Ding-a-lings jogged off in unison to the changing rooms, the Borough girls hunkered over a pack of jelly-babies on the pitch, eagerly awaiting Robbo’s uplifting speech. (“Remember Flo, give ‘em a good news sandwich, eh?!” - such were the last words of wisdom shared regarding the half time talks…….)

Well Robbo’s words, like her actions, didn’t let anyone down. Possibly a bit more meat in the good news sandwich than expected, but it certainly had an effect, if a little delayed………

With the modest incline and the wind behind them, the experience of the squad was going to prevail..... surely. All that character built up soaking in the ice-cold water in the gorges of the Brecon Beacons couldn’t have been for nothing. The stamina built on the dance floor of Govilon was going to count for something special, wasn't it?

Well, if it was going to count, it was going to have to be heroic, as within the first five minutes of the second half, the Crusaders had blindly ignored the steep slope and wind they were supposed to be struggling against, and had blithely cut down our wing and scored a try. This was now getting rude.

The atmosphere was also turning a little tetchy. The previously polite support of the locals was now turning into a louder demand for a fight-back. The visiting support was starting to enjoy their pending victory just a little too much.

The niggles were starting to happen on the pitch as well. Just a few sporting touches, demonstrating the commitment of both sides to their cause, but it was clear that everyone was now clearly focused on cementing a victory.

However, Pulborough were a distant 17 points the wrong side of it at this point.

Finally the big Kiwi bird earned the big bucks he gets for being coach, and engineered a shift in the backs that would get more players operating in the right areas. With Robbo at 9, now playing around Regan going forward at 10, Borough looked more threatening in attack. Some great continuity play and some individual grit from Robbo rightly ended in her scoring under the posts, and then making a valuable conversion.

15 minutes into the second half, and we are now 7 – 17, with the G.I.B. starting to smell the aroma of hope. Dings were perhaps starting to sense that things could wrong, but they continued to demonstrate the same strength and commitment in spades. A little over-commitment from one Crusader, however, ended up with her joining her supporters to cool down, and now Borough could be said to have an advantage of sorts, but were still two scores down.

The tension was now starting to overcome the supporters of both sides too. The touchline in particular was a ‘heady’ atmosphere, with veteran supporters being moved away from the pitch and the referee starting to get distracted by the antics of a few.

Into the last quarter, and the big Kiwi is asking of the manager ‘have we left it too late?’ ………. to which the prophetic reply was ‘No, we are just making it an epic finish’ (at least that’s how I remember it).

More scrapping, and now the physical contest was looking a little more even. With their first yellow card served Dings were now doing a second. Perhaps they were getting rattled. The speed of handling from Borough was now mis-footing the Dings and it wasn’t long before Regan took advantage of an angle to slice through for the second Borough try.

Converted, and now the score was 14 – 17 with 7 minutes to go. It was pretty much ‘the next score wins’.

The crowd are now howling. A scrum in front of the clubhouse and suddenly it is gladiatorial and Freelands has become the colloseum. The visiting support is slipping into premature celebration. The opposition coaches walkie-talkies are at their highest volume.

Play goes on. Lost ball………. recovered. Pulborough are rallying themselves for one last assault. 2 minutes to go.

The ball goes wide. Through the hands to Menorca Malia, but there is no space. She has one, no two, no three to beat! The first is a hand off, the second is a barge…. the third would just have to hold on, because she ain’t stopping. An outstretched ball-in-hand seeks out the white line. It’s 5 points. Borough take the lead for the first time.

With one minute to go Pulborough just have to hold on. Play smart, don’t let them back in, don’t give Dings the chance of a breakaway try.
Penalty – ball off the field. The crowd go wild. And breathe.

This game was the Regional Semi Final, yet it certainly had the feel of a National Final; the skill and strength of a high calibre opposition, the quirky events leading up to a pressured day on home turf, the epic battle by two teams in an excellent game of rugby.

At times the emotions ran high, but both teams went home having played in a massive sporting event, and the Dings Crusaders will no doubt be back for a longer cup run in seasons to come.

As for the Pulborough girls, well this massive performance raises their levels for the next round of the Cup, the South West Regional Final. Success there would lead to a National Semi, followed by another National Final. A long way to go, with further strong opposition ahead, but this performance tells the players what they are capable of.

One team went on to the field but a much larger Pulborough squad got them there. The ongoing success of Pulborough is about continuously developing the experiences of a three year age band, and those not on the field for this game will be sure to contribute to future games and seasons.

As for me, I’ll put the crayons away……… until next time.