Back by popular demand…..well not really, more like dragged out of retirement like Harry and Josh on Saturday, the BM is back to dish out a handful of fines so that the fridge at training is well stocked this week as we prepare for the Club’s biggest day of the calendar, the Denton Hurdle Memorial Game.
It’s been a humbling couple of months for the TRFC men’s team. At the end of round one we were joint top of the league but two rounds later and with only a solitary victory over Mariners we are now well adrift in third place with the goal now to salvage some pride starting this week against the National Team.
To pick on individual mistakes would probably be a little harsh, also I don’t have a spare 5 hours to list them all! So instead let us focus on Conor! Conor let us down in November, going out on what we can only presume to be a drink and drugs fueled bender the night before a game and subsequently failed to show up for said game. A two case fine was immediately imposed but he then went underground. He finally resurfaced last week at training but minus the beer. So Conor two cases please this week……wait a minute, you scored this weekend….it was your first try for the club…..haha! We’ll have three cases from you. Hooray!
Next up is Captain Stafford, vying for the title of Worst Captain Ever if results continue the trend, his mid match speeches under our own posts are all just a bit negative despite all the practice he is getting at delivering them! For being a miserable bastard Staff you can bring a case.
Cameron, hereto one of our stars this season would also be getting a case for the ridiculous reason for not playing because he is ‘saving himself for college in September’ then going 7s training the following day but unfortunately he is still a yoot so I’ll pass his fine on to Rob Forbes who cried off minutes before kick off with an injury forcing Coach Bobby to send out an SOS message to which Harry, Josh and Jeff Sangster responded. Legends, you get to drink Forbes beer this week.
Rags, our 140lb hooker/lineout jumper has a new nickname. As if Ragul is not a silly enough name, our youngster provided us all with a moment of light relief when while moving in a lineout to out-fox the opposition jumper he lost his balance and crumpled back into his lifter’s arms. Aldo doing what all good lifters would, carried on with the lineout and proceeded to lift Rags from under the armpits and so Simba was born! Simba, you’re still just a cub so Nails will buy your case as payment his all-round crap display.
More comedy was had when Dan got a bang on the head and forgot everything (Dan we won and you were brilliant**) and then the rest seemed to involve Neko. He was awarded a try despite not putting it down (good lad) he then saved a try but bizarrely took the ball into our own try area and took a knee. The chasing Police players were suitably perplexed and didn’t know what to do and there was this odd standoff with three police players surrounding Neko in the try area with Neko calmly looking up at them on one knee in the middle of them. Neko you are either retarded or a genius, I haven’t quite figured which out! Neko was not done though, my personal favorite was Harry receiving a rainbow pass from Neko above his head and then getting completely steamrolled by their second row who had had a twenty meter run up. Harry you deserve a beer from Neko but as he is too young, his mentor Cookie can bring a case.
That’s all from me for now, congratulations to the ladies, they lead the league and I believe are only one win away from securing the title. Way to go girls!
It’s a big week for the Club, please get down to training.

**Neither of which were true, Dan bring a case!