Whittington United Football Club can confirm that the club will be launching an internal investigation following the return of their Presentation Evening after the events that unfolded.

It is alleged (and 100% true) that Chairman Douglas Rowlands was escorted from the team's HQ's The Dog Inn, yesterday evening during the Champions League final.

The Dog Inn were unavailable for comment at this time so we'll make up a statement.

"Doug was falling all over the place, attempting to chat up barmaids and incite disrepute amount our quiet and respectable clientele (Jack Whelan aside) We had no option to remove him from the premises and take him home. We hope the club will take the matter seriously and fine the man an appropriate amount."

James Ballinger and Bent Stephens will be heading the investigation in an unbiased manner.... FINE HIM!