Nick Mercer's life long friend and Yarnbury rugby team mate, Paul Trigg, delivered a eulogy at his funeral. By special request a copy of what Paul read out can be seen here...

For those who don’t know me I’m Paul Trigg and a friend of Nick Mercer.
Helen – Thank you for asking me to speak on behalf of Nick’s friends. I take this as a privilege and an honour, as well as being one of the most difficult things I’ve ever been asked to do. What I’m about to say only scratches at the surface of what I feel for Nick. I can’t promise to get through it without help but I’ll do my best.
Our hearts are broken for all of Nick’s family. He was truly and rightly proud of Robert and Jenny and they are a credit to the love and guidance lavished on them by both Nick and Helen.
The loss of Nick is unbearable and our hearts ache for him and for the pain that we are all in. At this time, words offer little in the way of comfort. We are told that time will heal the pain but I know from experience that this isn’t actually true. What we can do is to embrace that pain as it seems to me to be a physical and permanent connection that we will always have with Nick. It will become less raw than it is today but we never really want to lose that feeling as it will keep him close to us.
I’ve thought long and hard about what can be said about Nick Mercer in a few brief minutes and I’ve decided not to regale you with tales of what we’ve all got up to together over the years, as this would go on for hours and actually a lot of the stories are probably not appropriate for a retelling in a church. That is something we can do together later this afternoon back at Yarnbury when we have a drink to Nick. In fact it’s something that we will be doing over the coming weeks and years whenever his friends gather for drinks and meals together. The stories that we will share about Nick, which have grown with the telling over the years, will be passed down to younger members of the club during future tours and nights out.
I want to talk about what Nick meant to me and my family as a friend.
I have a theory that you never actually meet your good friends, they just appear in your life. I’d love to be able to say I remember the first time I met Nick in our first year at Aquinas in 1970 but I really don’t – he just seems to have always been there as part of my life. We bonded early on as a result of playing for the school’s rugby teams together from the age of 11 and it was through a shared love of the game that we developed together that was the seed for the friendship that we grew in to.
Since Nick passed away I’ve spent time looking back on my own life. At key moments, happy or sad, one way or another, Nick was a part of them all.
He was at the same Christmas house party, when we were in the upper 6th, when I asked Deborah out on a date – actually he was instrumental in getting me an invite to the party so that I could with his encouragement, get to ask her out.
Possibly even more significant than helping me find a wife, he was with me in the Town Hall Tavern, one Thursday evening along with his brother Martin when we decided to join Yarnbury Rugby club. Towards the end of the evening we agreed that we needed find ourselves a club to play for, as we had only ever played at school. It was Martin who came up with the idea of a club in Horsforth that Nick and I had never even heard of. Martin found the number in the phone book and called the Yarnbury clubhouse. The then Chairman of Rugby, Ray Green, took the call and we found the three of us instantly selected for the 3rd XV against Leo’s the following Saturday. It wasn’t a classic game, the team Captain Harry O’Neil got himself sent off shortly in to the second half, however we went on to win the game and that was the three of us hooked for life. As Chris Wray noted in the tribute that he so eloquently wrote on the website – from that point on Nick never looked back. He grew to love the club – and by club I mean the friends that are the members and players. Not everybody knows but Nick and I also went on to make our 1st team debuts together against Otliensians towards the end of that first season.
Everybody who knows Nick understands how important Yarnbury became to him over the years. It wasn’t about winning (though we tried), particularly in those early days, it was that we were so warmly welcomed. Very soon friendships for life were created, and continued to be created over the years. Nick never forgot the warmth shown to us and he, more than anybody else, always went out of his way to welcome and encourage new and young players regardless of whether they were 1st team potential or more likely to be a sub for the 4ths. Early on in his playing career, Nick was an immensely proud recipient of the Bob Crawford player of the year trophy. Helen remembers him coming home from the AGM in the early hours of the following morning to wake her up so that she could share in his joy of winning this prestigious award. To Helen’s credit – she did understand what this meant to him and didn’t mind being woken up.
The Thursday following Nick’s passing, Chris Wray arranged for a book of commemoration to be opened at the club. Some of the words that are written in this are a tremendous tribute to what we all thought about Nick and what he means to us. Chris also put a notice out to say that at the same time we would be having a few drinks that night in memory of Nick. I asked Martin and Robert if they wanted to come along but said that due to the short notice and closeness to Christmas I thought there would only be a few more people than the half dozen or so that normally turn up for Thursday evening drinks. When we got to the club at 9 we could hardly get in to the lounge due to the number of Nick’s friends in the bar. It showed what esteem he is held in by his friends at Yarnbury and beyond. I know that Martin and Robert appreciated the turnout and listening to stories about Nick from the full age range of players that were there. There was more laughter than tears that night, which is what Nick would have wanted.
Nick treated rugby the way he treated life. Uncompromising, immensely hard working, take no prisoners, look after your team mates – especially the younger ones, and always, always with a smile on his face and a daft comment (usually to the ref). Nick loved nothing better at Yarnbury than going on tour. His planning and preparations for the costumes and his own variations on them were legendary. Who else but Nick, on a pirate themed tour would go fully dressed as a parrot? Or on a Yarnbury to Yarnbury bike ride, race ahead so that he could do a quick change in to a sheep’s costume in order that he could pop up from behind a drystone wall as the rest of the riders went by - simply to make people laugh.
I don’t remember Nick ever telling a joke. He was too naturally funny for that. He was less Eric Morcambe and more Vic Reeves with his humour. He was a friend to more people than anybody else I’ve known. He particularly enjoyed bringing his various groups of friends together and he took great pleasure in seeing them get on well with each other. This culminated on the day Adel Farm & Gardens sponsored the 1st XV game against York a couple of years ago. It’s difficult to say that I never saw Nick look happier as that smile and glint in his eye came out so readily. I walked in to the Lounge bar after the game when the sponsorship party was in full swing and could sense the pride that Nick had in his friends from Askham Bryan college mixing with those from Yarnbury and from his workplace, but also the immense regard and feelings that those friends had for Nick. He particularly enjoyed that day, being able to rub in to his great friend Ian Buxton a 4-0 Blue Rinse win over the York teams.
He loved his family, he loved farming (he certainly loved talking about it) and he loved his friends. He made everybody feel like they were a special friend – which of course we all were.
We are genuinely thankful to Nick for bringing Helen in to our lives. I knew she would be pretty special as he went on about this gorgeous girl he’d met from the University and he was desperate for Deborah and I to meet her. I realised from the day we eventually did meet that she was perfect for him. The obvious chemistry that the two of them rapidly developed stayed with them throughout the rest of his life and it was so obvious to see from the outside, the warmth and love that they shared. The love and support and humour that she gave to Nick over the years was absolutely right for him and they were the perfect match. We’ll always be grateful to Nick for bringing Helen in to our lives and we grew to love her, nearly as much as Nick did.
No wife could have done more for her husband than Helen did for Nick over the past few months. He knew this and told me as much each time I went to see him. Helen, I will always be thankful to you for making my friend Nick so very happy.
Nick and Helen were godparents to our son Dominic. The support and care that they gave to Dominic during his 19 years was immense. They were, together, a rock for my family in our times of need and were always there for us. Nick had a special bond with Dominic through their humour and love of rugby. Nick and Martin had always raised money for Martin House Hospice in Boston Spa over the years and who was to know that his own godson would need to use its services. Nick really took the fundraising baton up after we lost Dom and raised thousands of pounds through his Great North runs etc. Helen has asked that as a final act of fundraising by Nick, a collection is taken at the end of this mass for Martin House. That is incredibly gracious of her.
Helen, Jenny and Robert I hope you know that Nick’s friends are your friends and we will always be here for you in the months and years to come. I know you are a strong and that you have the support of your fantastic family but please call any of us whenever you need anything.
This is a time of unbearable sorrow for all here because Nick brought something special in to each of our lives that we all will be eternally grateful for. We miss him so much.
It was a privilege to have had Nick as such a close friend, a brother.
The only positive that I take from his period of illness was that it did allow me to tell him on many occasions how much I loved him. I still do and always will.
God Bless You Nick.

Nick's funeral will be on Wednesday 18th January.

There will be a requiem mass at Holy Name Church, Cookridge at 2.00pm followed by a shorter ceremony at Rawdon at 3.40pm

There will be a gathering afterwards to celebrate the life of Nick at the the Rugby Club at 4.00pm onwards.

Everybody is welcome and urged to attend and indeed Nick would have wanted as many of you as possible to come along and share a drink and a tale or two!