Not only does he score when he wants but it appears as though Rams captain and defensive rock Matty Rushworth picks his own questions when he wants !!......This week team mates brings you the answers everyone's been waiting all season for, so you seedy, seedy man, it's over to you............

Best Trainer - James Bunn – loves rolling around in the mud like a pig in slurry!!

Worst Trainer - Danny King – only man to always be injured before pre-season training!

Most Skilful - Aidy Hollands – that lad can do things with his feet that seem totally impossible and very unusual.

The Joker - James Bunn – Like sh*t off a shovel when it comes to whit, just a shame he doesn’t come off his line as quick.

Fastest - Me – my long legs can take me far and are very deceptive ;-)!!

Most Intelligent - Glew Stick – no question about this one. Glewy and his missus wipe there arses with £50 notes in their gaff!

Least Intelligent - Conroy –if that lad had brains he would be dangerous, and possible playing football at least semi-professionally, but he is not so he will always have to play for the Rams.

Worst Dress Sense - Dan Rush – Sometimes I think some of those boxers that he wears are his Grandad's.

Worst Taste in Music - Aidy – Just cos he is old.

And...Who's the longest in the shower ? I will start with who is the longest and end with the shortest:-

1. French Dave
2. Me
3. Abbo
4. Conroy
5. Eady (when he is here)
6. Slingers (when he is here)
7. Glewy
8. Griff (not including his piercing)
9. Waggs
10. Heskey
11. O'Keefe (I’m guessing on this one)
12. Arch (I’m guessing on this one as I may get locked up)
13. Dunny
14. Olly
15. Kingy
16. Dan Rush
17. Fearno
18. Bunny
19. Scott Davies (only due to the fact that he has never had a shower)
20. Aidy (how that lad has reproduced I will never know).

I have added a few too :-

Most Likely To Be Murdered - Fearno - just a question of when not if!

Most Likely To Be A Murderer - French Dave – I'm sure he has split a few women in half in his time.

Most Likely To Be Gay - Conroy - I Thought he already was...or that’s what Dunny told his mum once.

Most Seediest - Aidy – no explanation needed.

Best Drinker - Bunny – has a lot of body mass to fill.

Worst Drinker - Conroy/Dunny

Most Likely To End Up In Prison - Waggs – hasn’t he been on the run for years?

Most Likely To Be On The Sex Offender's Register - Aidy

Best Pulling Machine – Abbo – every man’s ideal wing man! I love you Brett xx

Most Likely To Be Prime Minister - Dunny – you have got to be able to talk bollocks, so he would be ideal.

Fan's Favourite - Arch – just basing this on the Mixy game.

Fans Least Favourite - Fearno

If They Were A Women, Who Would Be The Best Looking ? - Olly – I like a tanned bird.

Most Racist - Due to a court injunction we are now no longer able to tell you the most racist but we all know who it is so will leave it at that.

Tightest - Conroy

Most Likely To Have An STI - Waggs

Whose Mum I Would Like To Make Love To The Most - Dunny's, just so I could say I have.

Whose WAG I Would Like To Make Love To The Most - Fearno's – just so I can show her what a real man is like

Whose Sister I Would Like To Make Love To The Most - Fearno's

Whose Pet I Would Like To Make Love To The Most - Bunny's

Who Would I Most Want To Assist Me In Having A Threesome - Dan Rush – just so I could say to the poor girl they have been "Rushworthed" !!

Who Is Most Likely To Commit Suicide - Heskey – suicide amongst homeless people is very high.

Most Likely To Self-Harm - Scott Davies

Professional Footballer Who I Would Like To Sign For The Rams - Neil "Razor" Ruddock, what a guy.

Thanks everyone xxx

Northowram AFC