I’d arrived as part of a 26 strong Bumbles side on a freezing Friday afternoon in 2013.The luxury accommodation at the Stradey Park Hotel lulled the Bumbles into a false sense of tranquillity which was soon undone when later that evening we stepped out into a quagmire of a pitch at Furnace with horizontal rain and hail blowing directly into our eyes. Despite a heroic effort in the first half where we couldn’t really see our opponents (there was much talk of ‘ringers’ and Welshmen from the mountains coming down to destroy the Sais in the changing rooms at half time). The second half of that game only confirmed my teammates opinion of Wales because although we had changed ends, so had the weather and the hail and rain continued drive into the eyes of the English aiding the Warriors to a narrow victory under the captaincy of Epic Eric, who now resides in deepest East Yorkshire and is a key player in the Hessle Vikings.

The next morning despite the deep filled goose feather pillows and mattresses stuffed with down gathered from the thighs of pale Welsh maidens, the English team awoke thick headed, bruised and battered. Celebrations at the hotel had continued late into the night alongside the Warrior brothers. Sore throats had been added to the mix due to the Stradey Park resident organist and his devilish karaoke machine. Hats off to former Bumble Rob Cannon who turned out to have been blessed with a natural Elvis soundalike voice.
The next day as players from both teams nursed injuries from the night before we boarded the ‘quiet bus’ to Cardiff.

On the following day the Bumbles were due to watch Gwl@d RFC – a chat room based team. As it turned out many of the Warriors had imbibed a little too much celebratory Welsh Champagne the night before and were just short of a team. This was to be my defining moment as an honorary Welshman, along with other Bumbles including Big Lee and Tigger I was accepted as a (temporary) Warrior. The first shock was finding that in Cardiff a public park is considered ideal for ad hoc rugby games, with marked pitches and posts coming as standard. The second shock was being handed the Red, White and Blue shirt which was the backup kit of the Warriors, there were a few comments made about Dominos Pizza and “where did you park the moped”, but the Warriors turned out to be ahead of the game with an early sponsorship coming from Specsavers.

I’d love to talk in depth about my first Wales appearance but to be honest the haze from the previous evening had not completely left me. I do remember hurling myself onto an opposition player and bringing him to the ground with a level of enthusiasm rarely witnessed. I can’t be sure he was actually carrying the ball.
Big Lee took the ‘Star of the Game’ Trophy, which to this day remains on display at the Bradford and Bingley RUFC.

Tigger spoke complete nonsense after the game and claimed it was Welsh. Later that afternoon I pulled on the red shirt of Wales and cheered on my adopted national team to a victory over the Sais bastards at Fuel. Threats to my life have remained an annual feature since first whispered into my ear by Martin Hodgeson that day.

Thanks to the Llanelli Warriors for allowing me the experience of feeling like a subjugated nation coming out on top through what they do the best.

Warriors XV: Karl Davies, Graham Mosser (Mark Goodwin, Michael Steadman), Alun Stephens (George Morris), Gary James, Ryan Morgan (Gareth Ladd), Stephen John, Jamie Evans, Colin Tacon (Dan Bayliss, Kevin Pringle), Eric Horridge (Cpt), Chris Hancock (Lee Hainsworth), John Horwood, Dion Mitchell-Lewis (Darren Pollitt, Mike Seignot), Nathan Lawson, Derrick Morgan, Gwilym Lewis.

Full match report inc photos of Gwdyrs tackling someone without the ball are on the website here:

https://www.pitchero.com/clubs/llanelliwarriorsrfc/teams/3612/match-centre/0-1257017